Much to my dismay, a clever title has not hit me

So, I am anxious, excited and thrilled. I have probably been blabbing about my plans and hopes for this next year way too much to everyone, but it is hard for it not to occpy my mind.
I am going to miss so much and so many that I would love to list you all here, but since my brain is a bit of a madhouse I will probably forget someone vital and then with the tears and pain and then some guilt and I just don't want to do that.
My fans, friends and minions...some of you I have known for almost a decade...some a few weeks...I will miss you all many much, and I hope that you guys think about me EVERY day and MISS me like CRAZY! So strange, I can't really imagine that everything is changing...again. I guess it is always changing, but now, it is really kicking ass. Me moving to Europe. Our favourite theatre group will never be the same (note the lack of using the actual name... so parents won't Google their way into my blogs when I start blogging about drunk wild nights "in some country in the middle-ish).
Okay, I lied, I want to give a big shout out to Suzy K for helping me with my German!!! I love you sooo much and I just want to thank you for that and everything else you have taught me...directly or indirectly!
She just needed some public recognition for the long hours spent with me watching patiently as I tried to figure out cases, genders and...that other one.

My plans keep changing for Europe. Funnily enough, I started trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I got there TWO DAYS AGO, as in 8 days before I leave. Anyway, thank God I didn't have it all planned out, because this morning I was going to Germany, France, the Netherlands, Italy, Greece and, of course, Austria. But now instead, we are going to Germany, France, the Netherlands, DENMARK (yes...yes...), Belgium, Luxembourg and Austria. More countries, less sexy beaches, but it would just have been way to much to travel that far in that amount of time. Perhaps in the winter I shall venture that way...

Well, it is almost 1 in the morning, I have to be up and at'em in about 6 increments of 60 minutes.

Viva la Jenni!

Why, this is very midsummer madness

Well, since the last post I regained a sense of cool, calm and collected, lost it, regained it and now...I actually am not sure if I have it or not. My brain is still whirling, but slower than before, yet more stuff is flying through it.

I was asked if I could move out of the l'arche house I live in early because another assistant was moving in and needed my room. So I said surrre. They asked me when I could do it, I said I could move TUESDAY, they said, cool, don't rush though, it isn't a big deal.
They call me Sunday and tell me I have to be out by MONDAY MORNING. Apparently they had left a note, but I was just so sick I didn't see it. Right. Or maybe they didn't leave a note.
So, I was really really mad, and had to go pack all my junk and move out. Now I am kind of homeless-ish, and going crazy in a slow and painful way!

Get me wrong not. I am so excited about going, I know I will have an awesome time and etc etc etc... But I just kind of get this "cold-feet" thing.
I don't know if I can even finish the blog properly...which I won't, I am going back to the German stuff.

Viva la Jenni!

.........

.......................................................................?

Crazy, insane, freaky

Fans, friends and minions...I have become a basketcase!!!! I am going insane, but in a 'slow to the casual observer' sort of way.
I just can't seem to focus properly. My mind is doing five billion things at once and each time I try to slow down I kind of feel guilty.
My life is so great though right now! I am so happy, and I have friends and family who love me dearly, and I love them! But, I am just still going crazy. I want to see all my people before I leave, but I can't figure out when and I have some time open, but can't schedule it because I am scared I am actually supposed to be doing something else...
Okay...

YOU: Hmmm, what is Jenni, Queen of my Universe, writing about in her blog? (reads) This is stupid, perhaps I would prefer not to suffer through all this complaining and bitching, perhaps I would enjoy some happy comments.
ENTER ME (DL)
ME: Well, that really does sounds like a novel idea, I apologize. Thanks for your great advice.
YOU: Anytime pretty lady, anytime.
ME: Aww shucks!

So my mom had a kickass birthday party. I spent allll day monday baking cookies like a madwoman. It was fun, Elisha,Troy and Sara helped me. I was just going like crazy all day. Cleaning and baking and cleaning and spending time with other people and keeping mom out of the kitchen and studying German and cleaning and baking!

OMG, I saw that article about Playmakers! in the Stratford Festival and Beacon Herald program newspaper thingy. How cool!! I was kinda feeling down today, but I saw the article and was sooo happy and giggly! Yay Playmakers!
Speaking of you crazy kids, let me know when you are getting "festive" again, I wanna say goodbye to you all before I go.

Viva La Jenni!

she's a hero

Well fans, I have to climb my way out of the Buffy-verse for a few days, much to my dismay. Though last night I had some wicked cool dreams about being in Buffy. Fun times.
I have been a total nut job with this Buffy stuff, like really really. I think I have seen around one season per week. Which makes just over two hours of Buffy per day...I think. Well, anyway, I have confessed my addiction, I have two more seasons to go, well, actually I have one and a half. So I am going to crash through them now, so I can gain some sort of life in the next few weeks.
I love all my people, though it seems only two people responded to my flossing question, so I love them most. Respond people!! It is impossible to think my powerful blogs about things as pivotal as my flossing or buffy addiction are going basically unread by the human population ( 'cept you Professor and Coola!), clearly the problem is minions and friends, that you are all ashamed of your non-flossing ways. No need. No need at all.
Well, it is off to work with me, dangerous times...

Jenni from the Blog

I went to Wonderland...TWO TIMES this past weekend! Yay! It was really fun! I didn't die, and I ate lots of cotton candy. Good times...
I could go on about how fun it was, and what rides I went on...but why bother, no one really wants to hear it.
I think I have Blogger's Block. I can't think of anything that would be remotely interesting to write about. So I will just through out some 'a day in the life' junk so I don't get out of the habit.
I had a busy weird day yesterday. I went to Caritas to watch Buffy, and then went to a dentist appointment, which was pretty sad. Apparently I don't floss enough. May I ask now, for all ye reading my blog (which may not be too many people if all I can think to write about is flossing) Who flosses daily? Do you floss before or after you brush? How long does it take you and what is your motivation? I am just putting this out there for the masses, creatures great and small. Comment folks, comment.
They sucked $156 from me for telling me I don't floss enough ( I have to say though, I could have told them that and they could have given me the money).
So after the floss lecture I biked over to Susan's for some German lessons. Fun stuff. I really love languages. Well, I loved them actually, note past tense. I have been introduced to the fun world of "Nouns and Cases". The term 'over my head' doesn't begin to describe that little situation. Although I feel that even if I don't really understand what they mean to the English language, I subconsciously use it properly through experience. So let us hope the same transpires with my German. Aside from the dreaded "Nouns and Cases" demon, I think it went pretty well. I love the way German sounds and forcing myself to hear sounds I have never really heard in English and then say them. Which doesn't sound near as exciting or as interesting as it really is. So after German with Susan I went to my mom's to be greated by an empty home. Which is nice, because when you live with a minimum of 7 other people you really learn to value 'alone time' like you never thought possible. So I listened to music, re-read my German, chatted with my beautiful and wonderful darling friend Nicole, and then Dan came over to work on our little skit thingy for the AGM for l'Arche.
OH! You will all be pleased to hear that my tennis game has NOT improved at all. After Dan and I finished working on the skit, we went to the court and played a little game of tennis. After almost a month of no hard work and dedication to the game, I still have a 50/50 shot of even hitting the ball. Though, that may be exaggerating my skills a bit.
Tennis and skit being done, Dan and I biked to Caritas for Buffy.

"More Buffy?" you say.
"Yes, yes" I reply "more Buffy"

I am addicted. I have about a month to get through seasons 5, 6 & 7 !! It is absolutely irrelevant that I have seen the series at least twice in the past year. It is a kick ass show and it seems to get better everytime I watch it. So, don't judge me.

Well fans, friends and minions I am off to Caritas for the week. Though I am sure I shall post again.

Please remember to answer the whole flossing question.

Spam = Gross

Ewwwww, I am getting spam in my Blog. I feel so violated! It is like I am finding flyers in my diary. Ick.
Anyway fans, friends and minions...I am going to WONDERLAND on Saturday! Yay! I am so excited about that! I can't wait!
I really didn't have much motivation to write a blog, but the fact that I got all this nasty spam and I want to get that depressing blog off the top of the page. SO, having done that, and not really having anything interesting to say, I will sign off now.

VivaLaJenni

Grey skies...

So, I have made an attempt to recover my sense of reality and the present and not focus on what may (or may not) be in the future. It works most days, sometimes not as well. Today the rain is in the wings ready to come out, and clouds flood the sky and I feel like it will never end. When the sky is grey I feel like it will never leave. I can't exactly picture sunlight anymore, and the moist chill that creeps into my bones seems to have taken a permanent lodging there.
These are the days that I find it possible to live in the "now" and not what I think "may be". Forgetting that indeed I will bask in the warmth and comfort of sunlight again, I recall instead the last days I remember like this. All the same, dismal times. Spectacular.

I battle my inner demons daily. Who doesn't. They creep up on me again at night while I sleep and then they creep around me like witches at a cauldron until I want to scream. So, I hide in myself, a little retreat from the day to day. Fantasy land. It is a lovely place. Everyone I know has been in my world before.

What I do...

I spend the time, making events for myself to pay attention to. What am I wearing, how is my hair, more importantly who else is there, what do they think, who do I talk to, is there music? 'Tragic rip my heart out' music? or empowering 'I will love me forever' music?
Okay, "events" makes it seem like a Ball or something special. No, by events I mean... bumping into someone walking down the street, or in the grocery store or a phone call, or a shindig, or a work day...everyday things that I epitomize into something glorious. Drama and fantasy is so much better than reality...usually...unless you live in a castle and have a slew of Austrian princes banging down your door...which I see in my future....But not so well today. I see it briefly and in the fantasy...the skies are still grey. It will fade into blue again, I am just tired and over dramatic.
Wow...talk about a downer, promise, there will be more fun to come! But someone told me to shed the layers....I really hope it was a metaphor!

Viva la Sunshine!

"I had a dream last night"

I had a fantasy today, about some Alumni and some current students of Playmakers! going to the Danish castle itself and 'playing' Hamlet! I discovered that the castle is called Kronborg Castle and it is in Elsinore. Duh me. BUT, alas, imagine having the real deal. How hard would you have to search within yourselves to find true character when the walls of the place were actually bearing down on you? *sigh*
Well, mayhaps I will meet some big Hamlet fan in Europe and we can skip about in Kronborg. Here's to that!

Here's to ME! Viva la Jenni

Elsinore!!

Wow, this is Elsinore! Not my future home ladies and gentlemen, but a castle of much higher esteem. I really love it. The picture really captures the darkness that surrounds my thoughts of the castle.

Home again!

Hey minions!

I am sooo excited to be living at Caritas again. I am glad to be back with my ChillyWilley and all the other Caritisians.
My weekend is so huge! I was under the impression that the Playmakers! shows were NEXT weekend, but in a casual conversation about load outs I found out otherwise! THIS WEEKEND!! OMG!! So, I am working and begging like a crazy woman in order for this all to work. I am MAYBE able to get out tonight to go to the show, in which case I will set myself up as Carl's slave and just help him with whatever he needs for the scene changes. As soon as the show is done I dash to Maranatha to do an overnight, and then in the morning fly over to Caritas to do morning routines, then in the early afternoon I will take a coremember to see Hamlet. After that, we come back home and I work until 9pm and then I zip over to Brendan's and do some shin-digging. I may have to work an overnight again at Maranatha so I will have to zoom over there at 11pm, if not, I will party hard! The next day I will go to Mother's Day with Terry and perhaps Doreen. Sometime in this fun schedule, I have to get my mom the other part of her mother's day gift. BLEH!
Ya, anyway, now you can all feel sorry for me for a bit.

Thanks my sweet and darling minions,

Jenni

"I had rather hear you chide than this man woo"

Ellen, you have infected me! No...that sounds wrong. But I too am being mentally attacked by Hamlet and all I can think about is PLAYMAKERS!! I love it and it is driving me insane. I am getting ready to be a woman of the world and what is sticking most in my heart and mind is Playmakers! The feelings and the passion behind it. Every kid is human and just wants to put on a good show. The alumni and the where are they now factor is just amazing. Yay to AMANDA for getting into George Brown. So in my mind rest the random quotes, the catchy, heartbreaking tunes, the feelings and costumes and set peices of Hamlet and other shows. The three Hamlets I have experienced, of which...Easy E...blazes with glory in the most balanced Hamlet. Ha ha ha ha And by 'balanced' I mean properly unbalanced. When I watch the show I just "DIE" for him, amazing work! Well, I have to go nap off a bit of a hangover!

Viva la Jenni

l'Archen Party

My fun Sunday!!

Well fans, minions and friends, I had an awesome day yesterday. I went to church at Immaculate Conception and afterward hung out at Naz with Olive from Agape. We had lunch there and then went to the river. We hula'd and Heidi brought a drum so people drummed and others hula'd. There were about twelve of us including the coremembers who were hula'ing as well. Dalton even had a hoop. We all had a great time, the sun was shining, the grass was cool. After that Olive and I went back to Agape with Melissa and I made dinner and did some routines and then Melissa and I went to Andrew's apartment for the champagne party. Dan came soon after us and then Punkin, Tim and Heidi. We played a drinking game. It is harder than you would imagine to drink five shots of champagne. Then we went to the bar....Classics...on a sunday night...I know I know, lame lame, but we just wanted to have fun and dance to loud music. So, we went up there and there was NO ONE! So, we did what any half drunk group of friends would do. Danced! I ran down to Heidi's car (who wasn't drinking by the way) and grabbed her hula hoops and we hula'd on the dance floor. Oh minions, I have never had so much fun at Classics!! Ew, yes, we all had our shoes off. But it was a group thing and I scrubbed my feet like nobody's business today. I saw John, the guy who saved my life, and tried to get him to dance with us and he wouldn't. Apparently he has a crush on me, but he was drinking so I am sure he wasn't serious. ANYWAY, we had so much fun, and I did NOT throw up, which is always bonus. Oh, Andrew and I were dirty dancing on the dance floor, good times, we are so hot. I got home (AKA-Agape...I have no real home...boo) and opened the window for fresh air in the bedroom and it got stuck open so it was SOOOO freezing when I was trying to sleep.
I managed to wake up at seven and get the coremembers off to work and crawled my lame ass back on the couch to sleep off the hangover I aquired.

Viva La Jenni

Dreams of the Insomniac

Well, I most often dream, and I saw that earlier on some people had written some dreams...I couldn't really dream up anything interesting and relevant enough to be on the blog, but last night I had an INSANE bout of Insomnia and was up until 6am when I had to get up at 7am. So I got up at 7am and then decided they could all live without me and went back to bed...this is what transpired...

Carl, Ellen, Liam and I were helping with the Hamlet show and we decided to party it up after the rehearsal. So we got the Playmakers! van (?) and decided to go for a drive. You must understand that this is a mythological van and no such van actually exists for Playmakers!. Ellen, naturally, was our driver, Carl had shotgun, and Liam and I were in the back. The middle seats had been taken out for storage room. There was a sort of fence infront of Liam and I that limited our view of what was going on ahead of us, and the windows to the sides were foggy and blurred up so we could hardly make out what was on either side of us, so we turned our seats around and watched the road behind us. We were on the highway and we were going so damned fast it was scarey. Ellen and Carl had somehow managed to get alcohol on this voyage and passed it back to Liam and I and we were all drinking to our hearts content. Edit: Just remembered that we were all smoking pot too...crazy, cause I really really don't like pot. Ellen decided it was time for some music and turned on Linken Park. Liam started panicking saying, "Guys, whenever I listen to LinkenPark something bad happens, the cops showed up at my door at school when I was listening to it" and sure enough, we got pulled over. So Liam was terrified because he had already been arrested for drinking and listening to loud music, and so we quickly pulled our seat belts on and hid our drugs and the cop came to the window. Then another one came to the other side of the window. We were right beside an exit of the highway and there were lots of cars zipping past us. The police asked Ellen AND Carl to get out of the vehicle. So they went to talk to the police, the van was still running and in the background there was Dumbshow music playing. Liam and I were scrambling to see what was going on, but the only window that provided us with a view of Ellen and Carl was blurry. We kept wiping it off but it would get blurry again so fast. All of a sudden we realized what was happening. Carl and Ellen were getting arrested!!!! A cop came to the van, we assumed to explain the situation, instead he shifted the van into Drive. So we started to roll. Liam and I started freaking out, we were going to die in the back of a Playmakers! van. For some reason it was much more tragic that it was a Playmakers! van, as if it was any other sort of van we would have just resigned ourselves to the fact that we were going to die. SO what happens is the following. Liam managed to kick the fence out from between us and the front of the van and I ran up and started steering, but the steering was crazy hard and the door was still open and my hair kept flapping in my eyes, so liam cut my hair for me and we exited the highway. The steering wheel got stuck and we ended up crashed into a wall. A little while later when I came to, Liam wasn't around. I got out of the van and started looking for him. Brendan showed up he gave me a little motorized scooter and asked me if I was going to the Daytona races to support Playmakers! and I said I would after I found Liam, and so he left and there were two huge doors with a large gold star on each of them and I heard LinkenPark coming softly from behind one and I opened it and inside there was a blue Playmakers! throne and a small stereo playing the music and it was so damned weird. I closed that and went to the other door and then Liam came running up behind me and said
"Don't open that!!! I sat in there for a while, but it was just too much...too much"
I asked "what is in there?" and our voices were kind of echoing and tinny
"l'Arche schedules. And Set...Set for miles. I started to cry" he told me
"But...your beard."
"ya," he shook his head "...It didn't help"

Mmmmm...that was my sexy dream. Totally weird, there were more things involved but I don't remember how they fit in and it seems to be falling away.

Viva La Me!

Oh! and to make things more fun, my mommy reads my Blog!
A shout out to my ma, yo! Keep it Gangsta!

"Psychotic....?" "No"

One of my fans requested more pictures of me...I can't turn down someone who has such amazing taste...though he is gay, that probably lowers my chances of scoring

Well, Playmakers! tonight was a total bust for me!!! Ha ha haha! that sounds so mean and bad. The show is going pretty good, the same Playmakers! story though, kids...lines?...props?.... SCENE CHANGES!?!?! You mean the scenes don't change themselves?? This shocked me too people, but get this...in order for the scenes to change....The change has to occur ONSTAGE before the actors can act on it...AND in a certain amount of time!!!!!!! The show will not revolve around one particular actor who doesn't what play we are doing, let alone what scene we are on! Not that I was some GREAT QUEEN OF THE SCENE CHANGE or something, but really really...
"Oh,!" (pardon me whoever's task this was, not getting into particulars, just exampling) "I bring on a TREE!?!?! what tree??? where does it go?? I have been doing this for HOW MANY months? what does a tree look like? is it this gold thing? no, that is a cup...I have a running who now?"
Poor Carl...

ANYWAY, the bust...Playmakers! was a bust for me, not because of that crap I mentioned before, because that stuff is what makes Playmakers! itself...BUT because I cut myself with my own stupid nail getting a girls skirt done up, and for those who don't know Playmakers! skirts...they can be a real pain in the arse. I got bug spray in my wound. I think I may be getting a cold now (not Playmakers! fault directly of course, but I must associate it so you all feel sorry for me in one large sum). I SAT ON STUPID STAGE DIRT ON A CHAIR WITH MY PRETTY NEW WHITE SKIRT!!!! You can all cry for me on that note, but I managed to get it all out!!

A warm thanks to Liam, guardian of all things wonderful and perfect, for the sweater! Yay to Ellen for her costuming skills. Carl rocked my world with his works, helping the kids with their characters and changing scenes! GO CREW! I think I mostly just got in the way and hurt or embarassed myself. Though I had some interesting and somewhat akward revaltions occur to me on my walk to the Studio that might have contributed to that.

BEFORE Playmakers! I hung out with my friend Tim, fun stuff, he isn't psychotic in case you are all wondering. Which...you weren't, so now I have gone and made things awkward..."why would I/we think he was psychotic?" you will ask yourselves as you toss and turn in bed tonight. Well, anyway, Tim is a really interesting guy and I enjoy his company very much. We get into some rather interesting conversations.

G.I. Jane is a totally kick ass movie about a totally kick ass girl!!! I loved it. It really spoke to me and said "You could do NOTHING of what this woman is going through!" Rar, I am describing it all wrong, I mean, I KNEW I couldn't physically do anything this woman did, but I still felt empowered and happy about being female....Not that I am ever unhappy about being female.

I think I am starting to babble...

Viva la Jenni

GOD BE AT YOUR TABLE!!!