Grey skies...

So, I have made an attempt to recover my sense of reality and the present and not focus on what may (or may not) be in the future. It works most days, sometimes not as well. Today the rain is in the wings ready to come out, and clouds flood the sky and I feel like it will never end. When the sky is grey I feel like it will never leave. I can't exactly picture sunlight anymore, and the moist chill that creeps into my bones seems to have taken a permanent lodging there.
These are the days that I find it possible to live in the "now" and not what I think "may be". Forgetting that indeed I will bask in the warmth and comfort of sunlight again, I recall instead the last days I remember like this. All the same, dismal times. Spectacular.

I battle my inner demons daily. Who doesn't. They creep up on me again at night while I sleep and then they creep around me like witches at a cauldron until I want to scream. So, I hide in myself, a little retreat from the day to day. Fantasy land. It is a lovely place. Everyone I know has been in my world before.

What I do...

I spend the time, making events for myself to pay attention to. What am I wearing, how is my hair, more importantly who else is there, what do they think, who do I talk to, is there music? 'Tragic rip my heart out' music? or empowering 'I will love me forever' music?
Okay, "events" makes it seem like a Ball or something special. No, by events I mean... bumping into someone walking down the street, or in the grocery store or a phone call, or a shindig, or a work day...everyday things that I epitomize into something glorious. Drama and fantasy is so much better than reality...usually...unless you live in a castle and have a slew of Austrian princes banging down your door...which I see in my future....But not so well today. I see it briefly and in the fantasy...the skies are still grey. It will fade into blue again, I am just tired and over dramatic.
Wow...talk about a downer, promise, there will be more fun to come! But someone told me to shed the layers....I really hope it was a metaphor!

Viva la Sunshine!